Best of the Gore Gazette - Page 2
#31 - THE ARENA: is primed with large doses of skin, sex and fairly explicit violence (for it's time) and shouldn't really disappoint anyone. Seeing buxom Pam Grier spike obese, pompous Roman rulers in the balls with her gladiator's trident is worth the price of admission alone!
#34 - PARASITE: Nothing excels in Parasite - Charles Band's direction is ponderous and predictable, the sets purported to be 1992 look like an old Republic back lot. Stan Winston's gore looks unconvincingly like bloodied hamburger meat and his parasite creation unfortunately comes off like a cross between a second-rate Alien imitation and a turd.
AMIN: THE RISE AND FALL review
#35 - SILENT RAGE: … all the cast members seem to approach their roles with tongue planted firmly in cheek, realizing the corn quality of the Grade-B script. Except for Chuck Norris himself, who borrows heavily from the Joe Dallesandro school of deadpan acting…in fact Norris is so untalented as an actor he is rapidly approaching the status of an Aryan Cameron Mitchell.
# 36 - Editorial: To the 120 people who attended last Mon. evening's NY premiere of The Worm Eaters, I'd like to extend a personal apology. Having always been a fan of T.V. Mikels I never would have imagined that it would have been as utterly wretched as it turned out to be. The only saving grace behind the entire affair was that reel #4 was in such poor condition that it was virtually un-projectable, thus reducing the tedium by a good 20mins.
#37 - THE NESTING: John Carradine must have been hired for one day's work in the film, and the poor old devil is seen briefly as a cranky old geriatric prone to multiple heart attacks in what has to be the most bad taste piece of casting ever.
#38 - CONAN THE BARBARIAN: Arnold Schwarzenegger looks perfect as Conan and wisely has been given the barest minimum of dialogue so as not to display his I.Q. of 39.
#40 - BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z: Even if the pitiable plot does not amuse, even the staunchest of curmudgeons would be hard pressed not to laugh at the actor who portrays the monster as he constantly trips through every scene due to the cumbersome monster suit which is an awkward combination of a gas mask, scuba suit and a woman's overcoat.
#42 - CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS review
FRIDAY THE 13TH PT. 3: Suffice to say that the screenplay is chock-full of the most mundane and sexist dialogue ever written, the plot has larger holes than a brothel and the time worn "jolt" attempts are about as subtle as a flying mallet. (Screenwriter) Kurtz has got to be the son of some Paramount honcho, otherwise I'm sure he'd have been laughed off the lot with the drivel he has the nerve to call a screenplay.
SWAMP THING: ...has been criticized by many for it's serio-comic approach, phony looking monster suits and overall "made-for-TV" cheapness, but the film transcends these flaws by virtue of it's non-stop action pace and it's tongue in cheek approach only brings the film a refreshing degree of originality in a genre which far too often takes itself too seriously.
#43 - ROAD WARRIOR: Director George Miller once again mans the directorial helm and proves that he might just be the greatest action director in the history of cinema. Gore abounds in this 90min outing, with enough limbs severed, heads cleaved and bodies mangled to differentiate Warrior from an anemic Spielberg or Lucas outing.
BEASTMASTER: Inane, S&S concoction featuring Marc Singer as a pea-brained barbarian who can talk to the animals and Tanya Roberts as a slave girl imprisoned by an evil wizard. Blatantly embarrassing cross between Conan and Doctor Doolittle.
#44 - FORBIDDEN WORLD: All of Forbidden World was filmed at New World's much-touted back lot studio on a budget that might even make H.G. Lewis blush. Spaceship interior sets on close examination are easily recognizable as being made up of egg cartons and polystyrene McDonald's hamburger containers, while computer consoles are obviously cardboard concoctions whipped together at minimal cost.
#48 - NURSES FOR SALE review
ALONE IN THE DARK: …an interesting variation on the timeworn genre that just might just be the sleeper of 1982….Director Jack Sholder…and his screenplay displays an understanding insight of madness that leads you to believe he may have spent some time at the funny farm himself. Alone contains little "stalk and slash" hijinx, with the few killings emerging as jolting and effectively terrifying. Gore fans will not be disappointed as the film still contains some high volume violence. Don't miss it!
#50 - Editorial: It seems hard to believe, but with this issue the G.G. is now 50 editions old! Who ever thought back in Oct. of 1980 that a one-sided, crudely-Xeroxed, picture-less rag dealing only with the scum of 42nd St. film releases would survive, flourish and evolve into a two-sided, crudely -Xeroxed, illustrated rag still devoted to extolling the virtues of demented cinema?
MIDNIGHT: Awful acting, inept filming and shoddy gore (credited to Tom Savini?) click to make Midnight a great absurd classic very similar to 1972's Invasion of the Blood Farmers.
#51 - XTRO: …The kid thinks becoming an alien is a nifty idea and he allows his dad to implant him with alien spores. Soon the two become a kind of vampiric Beaver and Ward Cleaver, teaming up to feed on the neighbors and implant nubiles with alien seeds so their race can take over Earth.
( At New York's "Club 57" the G.G. has a special (uncut) screening Wes Craven's Last House on the Left. One of the stars, Fred Lincoln, makes a Special Appearance )
#52 - ( The G.G. goes from a free publication to 35 cents )
Editorial: As many of readers know the G.G., since it's inception, was funded by a "midnight grant" from one of the nation's largest gasoline-refining companies (Exxon.) Unfortunately (on Feb. 9, `83) 2 ½ years of publishing bliss ended when an undercover security guard discovered the G.G. publishing empire and promptly blew the whistle. The result? Rick Sullivan, intrepid G.G. publisher who spent the past four years counting and reporting on petroleum mega-bucks, got the swift corporate hatchet, amidst prosecution threats running the gamut from mail fraud to distributing pornography (It seems that G.G #51's picture of the Xtro creature attacking a nubile is considered obscene by corporate brass.)
VIDEODROME: This long-awaited David Cronenberg effort did a major disappearing act at most area venues, barely surviving a one-week run. Universal probably lost a bundle on this one, so let's hope Cronenberg doesn't become the Michael Cimino of the horror set after this well-intentioned disappointment.
( Basket Case plays at the Meadtown Theater in New Jersey)
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